Layout:
Home > Category: Joke it up

Viewing the 'Joke it up' Category

Gas back on

July 29th, 2009 at 06:19 pm

I paid $660 to have hot water. I am thankful. I am a little pissed about how ghetto the operators were to me. After I took my dishes to my grandmother's to do them, I told her that I almost felt sorry for making fun of my ex-sister-in-law for trading sexual favors to get her utilities turned back on. Almost.

Lights and gas paid. Water and phone are next. Maybe a credit card will get paid next month.

Ridiculous

November 29th, 2008 at 12:55 am

Did you hear of the death and shooting on this worst Black Friday?
I was astonished, but not really surprised.
I stayed home for a reason. That I didn't want to die, I have no money, and it is too cold out for me.
Guess it was a smart choice.

Saving on Entertainment

October 15th, 2008 at 02:36 pm

I went next door to my cousins last night. We had popcorn from my popcorn machine. We drank soda pop out of real glasses. That saved how much money?

At least $10 per person.
No one had to bring their own drink.
No one had to pitch in for paper cups.
No one had to buy a snack, since I had those things at home already.
Everyone had a great time, enjoying every loving cheap ass minute of it.

We went with the old standby game, Charades. It was my first time go round, but it was fun.
I also brought the paper strips for that game too, and the hat.

Good thing I showed up, huh?

I love my new Girl's Night that is so cheap and easy to enjoy.
Plus, when it is next door, it takes no gas at all.

What is going on?

October 10th, 2008 at 09:21 pm

I still feel broke. I don't think this bail out is going to bail me out at all. What do you think, George?

I can't drink for another month

October 4th, 2008 at 11:09 pm

Last night was awesome, very fun. I can't do anything like that for a long while. Today, I had my very first hangover.
What an experience. The kids were good, that that was nice, but everything else sucked.

I still would have done it. I am glad we had a great time.

We got to the bar and I put money into the dart board machine. It told me that I had 16 credits. I only paid for four. That means someone had left $3 in there before we started. Thanks for the free games! There was no one around any of the dart boards when we got there or after. The pool tables were packed though. The price for that went up to a buck each game.

All in all, we had a great time and made it home before 12 am. I still went to my cousin's house after the boys were asleep. DS2BH had to work this morning, so they all went to bed and I went next door. That is where I got super slammed and had such a wonderful feeling this morning.

I will post how much money I am saving on liquor for the month. I may even wait longer, maybe only drinking at a holiday party or two.

School Days

September 16th, 2008 at 09:49 pm

It's finals week. I was stressing all weekend. I didn't have my final projects ready to go and I was worried about the tests tomorrow and Thursday. I can swing it, and I did with my papers. I had to finish typing it last night and do a presentation today. I have such faith in myself that I winged two presentations and did great on both of them. It helps that I can make the class and teacher laugh, and I think that is what bumps my score up.
With my first presentation, we just sorta talked about why we picked the topic we did and threw out some facts that we had on some charts. I also had some extra charts that were printed in black and white that we passed around. PLUS
The presentation I did today was about psychedelic drugs and I talked about how they could help people and how I don't recommend using them without a DR supervision. When I told them that there was nothing in my paper about the street usage and where to obtain, but they could see me after class. The teacher even laughed, knowing that I was joking.
I love the fact that I have a year under my belt and my second year doesn't seem that it will be that hard.
School is going great. I love the challenge it is giving me too.

The Money's about gone

September 16th, 2008 at 07:52 pm

I have spent and/or saved all of my money that I got from selling my land. I didn't expect it to last long anyway. I am glad that I managed to pay off some bills and that I can worry a little less, but this really didn't help me with my money management skills any.
I did save half of the money. Maybe it was a little less than half, but it was a size-able chunk anyway.

I can't wait until I can post all of my interest from Smarty Pig. I have gotten over $2 on one account already. That is amazing. My mom told me to be careful though. All of these big name banks are going belly up and I need to watch it and get my money out in time.
She was telling me that Wachovia and Merrill Lynch is where her 401(k) is and that I will need this info when she dies so I know where to get it. I told her to have that stuff ready to go before she dies.
I am sorry to talk about that so lightly, but eventually, you, me, and everyone we know will die. I think that it doesn't affect me as much since I have dealt with death at a young age. I was 16 when my dad passed away and that really hurt, but I was never one to let my emotions get the best of me and I always try to joke my way around tough things. That is what helps me get around those feelings, just joking about it. Taking death lightly is what gets me through it. I don't mean to be rude about it, but I am sure that if someone over heard me, they may be offended. I would never say anything to purposely to offend, but like I said, that is just me.
You're welcome for the bring down, about death and me spending all of my money.

HA! That's funny!

August 6th, 2008 at 06:31 pm

Don't be mad if I stole this from you, but I think it is the funniest thing I have read in a while. Also, don't be offended by this list. Take a break and laugh!
Know Your State Motto:
Alabama
Hell, yes, we have electricity.
Alaska
11,623 Eskimos can’t be wrong!
Arizona
Yes, but it’s a dry heat.
Arkansas
Literacy ain’t ever-thang.
California
By 30, our women have more plastic than your Honda.
Colorado
If you don’t ski, don’t bother.
Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, only smaller.
Delaware
We really do like the chemicals in our water.
Florida
Ask us about our grand kids.
And our voting skills.
Georgia
We put the FUN in Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii
Haka tiki mou sha’ami leeki toru.
(Death to mainland scum, leave your money.)
Idaho
More than just potatoes.
Well, okay, we’re not, but the potatoes sure are real good.
Illinois
Please, don’t pronounce the “s.”
Indiana
2 billion years tidal wave free.
Iowa
We do amazing things with corn.
Kansas
First of the rectangle states.
Kentucky
Five million people;
Fifteen last names.
Louisiana
We’re not ALL drunk Cajun wackos, but that’s our tourism campaign.
Maine
We’re really cold, but we have cheap lobster.
Maryland
If you can dream it, we can tax it.
Massachusetts
Our taxes are lower than Sweden’s and our senators are more corrupt.
Michigan
First line of defense from the Canadians.
Minnesota
10,000 lakes … and 10 zillion mosquitoes.
Mississippi
Come visit and feel better about your own state.
Missouri
Your federal flood relief tax dollars at work.
Montana
Land of the big sky, the unabomber, right-wing crazies, and honest elections.
Nebraska
Ask about our state motto contest.
Nevada
Hookers and poker!
New Hampshire
Go away and leave us alone.
New Jersey
You want a ##$%##! motto?
I got yer ##$%##! motto right here!
New Mexico
Lizards make excellent pets.
New York
You have the right to remain silent,
You have the right to an attorney
And no right to self defense!
North Carolina
Tobacco is a vegetable.
North Dakota
We really are one of the 50 states!
Ohio
At least we’re not Michigan.
Oklahoma
Like the play, but no singing.
Oregon
Spotted Owl … it’s what’s for dinner.
Pennsylvania
Cook with coal.
Rhode Island
We’re not REALLY an island.
South Carolina
Remember the Civil War?
Well, we didn’t actually surrender, yet!
South Dakota
Closer than North Dakota.
Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.
Texas
Se hable ingles.
Utah
Our Jesus is better than your Jesus.
Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedys.
Virginia
Who says government stiffs and slackjaw yokels don’t mix?
Washington
Our governor can out-fraud your governor!
West Virginia
One big happy family … really!
Wisconsin
Come cut the cheese!
Wyoming
Where men are men and the sheep are scared.
Home of Brokeback Mountain.
The District of Columbia
The work-free drug place.