Ten things that helped me to...

Rack up Credit Card Debt.

10. I spent way too much money on clothing on my children when they were small. I should have been doing what I do now. Buying second hand and perusing clearance isles.

9. I cared about what other people thought about me. I spent money on things I didn't need. I didn't try to impress, but I didn't want people looking down on me.

8. I had a love affair with the dollar store. I went when I was upset, sad, bored, or didn't want to go home because it was nasty and full of clutter. Why was it full of clutter and hard to clean with two toddlers there? Due to my love affair with the dollar store.

7. I lost my job. That means that gas, groceries, cigarettes, and everything else that wasn't a bill went on my card. I opened up card after card, knowing that I didn't have the money to pay it back.

6. My live in partner and baby daddy didn't have a job either. There's more gas and expenses that I couldn't keep up with.

5. The ease of ordering things online. I could click and get. That is very tempting to do when you are sad about your situation.

4. Therapy shopping. That is the base of 4 or 5 of these. When I couldn't afford it anymore, what did I do? I spent time with my kids. They made me more happy then for some reason. Not that they didn't make me happy before, but they would upset me more often in the past. I think we were all going through some stress, with bills, clutter, and school issues to deal with, it's surprising they didn't take up smoking.

3. I thought if we had it all, we would be happy. How wrong I was!

2. Interest rates on maxed out cards are outrageous. I was buying $300 worth of stuff and paying $500 for it. DUH

1. I blame myself, but also the way I was raised, people I hung around, and way I looked at myself. I had to take a class in college that told us that our self esteem has a lot more to do with our lives than just your teen years. If you constantly tell yourself that you will not be able to do something, guess what, you can't do it. I told myself that things would make me happy. I told myself that people liked me because of what I had or how much money I had. I didn't want to instill that into my children, so I changed.